Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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