He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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