R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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