Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
