i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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