it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
