i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
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I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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