I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
