if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
