Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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