..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
