as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
