I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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