You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
