Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
