I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
