accomplished twins. life is a go
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
