He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
