Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
