They should really pass out barf bags in church
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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