Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
