so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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