I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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