Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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