Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
