We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize