I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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