He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize