We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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