I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
