That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
