So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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