Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
