i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
