OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
COCAINE IS GR8
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
