No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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