All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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