why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
