I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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