I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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