Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
