It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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