Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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