Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
