She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
