Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
