im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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