I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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