You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's the barista slut.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
