You're so nebulous sometimes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wear drunk well.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
