it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
