Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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