Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
