I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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