he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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