i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
