I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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