I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
