the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
