please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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