barbara walters just said penis...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
