True but thats because hes a fetus.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
