He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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