yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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