I CAN MOONWALK!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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