I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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