I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
