12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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